Spending Quality Time with Kids

We all know that it’s important to spend quality time with kids. But with the huge demands of family life – caring for kids, the house chores, the school runs, the extracurricular activities, the work demands and other obligations – many of us are at a loss on how to find the time to do it. Many of us need parenting tips or ideas on how to spend one-on-one quality time with our children.

It can be a challenge to have quality family time when weekends are filled with sports, extended family and social obligations. So when there are weekends that are free, we take advantage and schedule a fun activity that we can do as a family. Doing things together is a lot of fun for us and for the kids. I’d like to think that whenever we do things together, we create beautiful, long-lasting memories for them. And in the process, make them closer to us and to each other as well.

If finding free time for the whole family can be a challenge, then finding one-on-one time per child proves to be extra difficult. Parenting experts say that ideally, we should spend 20 minutes a day with each child. This proves to be a challenge for my family with 3 young kids. After all, mom and dad are outnumbered.

Personally, I try my best to spend at least 10 minutes a day with each child. Yes, there are days when that doesn’t happen. But I try. On top of that, I try to have ‘dates’ with each child. I would love to do this weekly with each child, but in reality, that just doesn’t fit in. So we try to squeeze in one-on-one dates on a 1-2 month basis. One-on-one time with dad is important too, so below I share ideas on how we juggle that around as well.

Spending Quality Time with Kids

• Schedule ‘dates’ around the interest of the child.

  • ‘Dates’ are what we call one-on-one outings with either mom or dad. Take note, we Schedule them, when we see weekend slots that are free. We find that without plotting these things out in our diaries, they never happen. So make sure to Schedule Dates – one-on-one with the kids, plus a date for mom and dad too.
  • When my son was 3 years old, he was fascinated with trains. So my husband took him on a train ride just till the last train stop. On that stop, they had a McDonald’s date and played at the nearby park. Then took the train back home. Till this day, our son remembers this special one-on-one date with dad.
  • My eldest daughter loves sweets. So dates with her always revolve around dessert. She just loves it and is always chatty as she gets her sugar fix.

• Take advantage of birthday parties and/or play dates.

  • When one of our kids has a party or a play date, my husband and I then decide to take the 2 remaining kids out on a one-on-one date each.
  • When our eldest child was invited to a party recently, my husband took our son out for some father-son bonding. This can be as simple as going on a bike ride with dad in a nearby park. Or accompanying dad with having the car fixed.

• Reading time.

  • My middle child is just learning to read. I try to spend that 10 minutes everyday after school, hearing him read.
  • My youngest child, who isn’t in school yet, loves reading as well. I try to spend 5-10 minutes reading 3-5 books to her while the 2 older kids are in school.

• Chat time.

  • My eldest daughter just loves this. ‘Chat time’ is reserved just for her. Sometimes, we have 5-10 minutes of ‘chat time’ before she goes to bed. Sometimes, we take a walk in the nearby park or go on a dessert date. Sometimes, our chats are about her day. But at other times, we talk about deeper topics and questions that she may have in her heart. She knows that ‘chat time’ is our special moment when she can ask me anything under the sun – from friendships to more difficult questions related to puberty and growing up.

• 10-20 minutes after school.

  • I often try to prepare dinner while the children are in school. In this way, when they get home, we are able sit around the dining table over afternoon tea, without much distraction. We usually sit together and they tell me about their day.
  • When one or two goes off to do homework or take a shower, I use this time to have a quick chat with the child that remains with me. This varies per day, but at least I try to get that one-on-one quick chat with each child throughout the week.

• Arts and Crafts.

  • If they weren’t in school, my kids will surely be busy with arts & crafts at home. During school holidays, the kids enjoy doing art activities. They learn from each other, make a mess together and bounce creative ideas off of each other.
  • But while the 2 older kids are in school, I take the time to do crafts for preschoolers with my youngest daughter. Sometimes it’s structured, and sometimes I just follow her lead and her interests. It’s one-on-one time with her which she absolutely loves.

• Play.

  • On weekends, my husband used to take our eldest daughter out to bike or practice basketball for 30 minutes to an hour. But more recently, he’s been trying to spend more time with our son, teaching him to bike on 2 wheels, flying planes or kicking a soccer ball at a nearby park.
  • Play can also mean creating play ideas at home that are in line with their interests. One such example is when I created this Star Wars inspired spaceship construction game for our son, who is such a Star Wars fan and who is also good at building things using his imagination.

• Free or inexpensive activities.

  • As a family, we are always on the lookout for free or inexpensive activities in our local area that the kids would enjoy.
    • A recent example is going into the city to see the light shows and displays of Vivid in Sydney.
    • I also take advantage of ‘Story Time’ in our local library. It’s a free activity for preschoolers where the kids sing, read books and do crafts.

These are the activities my family does to spend as much possible one-on-one and family time with our kids. Like any parent, there are ultra busy days when none of the above happen. Then I make a conscious effort to make up for it the next day. We all have different schedules and routines. These ideas worked for my family… maybe other ideas will work for yours. You may have 2 kids, or 4 or more kids. Those with more definitely need to get more creative than me. But the bottom line is that no matter what your family situation is, we as parents should all make that effort to squeeze in those few special minutes, spending one-on-one quality time with our kids when we can.

Time is such a precious commodity. Once it is spent, we can never get it back. So spend time with your kids. Create memories. And make every moment count.

What are activities that you do with your kids? We’d love to hear them and get ideas from you too.

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Image Credit: “Creative Commons Children Cycling” by Federation European Cyclists, used under CC BY 2.0 / Text and logo added